It’s a credit to our players we pulled out the six we did. It’s very difficult to win games when the coaching staff (not you Priefer, you’re a rockstar) is shockingly unprepared for their opponent every week. Scarred and bitter 2019 me recognizes Kitchens for the jawdroppingly bad playcaller and season-wasting coach he was. UPDATE: As of 2019 - Without exception, the factory of sadness requires sacrifice each and every year, somehow starry-eyed 2018 me forgot that terrible truth. It’s exciting stuff - if you care how efficiently grown men throw a small oblong ball to each other. That means the Cleveland Browns go from 28th in the NFL (of 32 teams for those of you unfamiliar with football and thought you might still be reading a recipe) to sixth overall in Red Zone touchdowns. And one of those quarterbacks didn’t even start the season. UPDATE: As of 2018 - and I could not be more pleased to type this - only Drew Brees (116.9) has a higher passer rating in the Red Zone than Baker Mayfield (115.1). Lots and lots of beer is good for the deep and profound sadness that follows nearly every game, but it’s really the food that anchors the whole experience. Let me tell you, the cursing, pleading, praying and overall emotional savagery can work up quite an appetite. FirstEnergy Stadium is also known as the Factory of Sadness for a reason. * As a Browns fan, having great appetizers are an especially critical part of the game - it’s a convenient way to distract yourself from the horror unfolding on TV and very often, the only positive thing to take away from the afternoon. It’s a piping hot and gooey bean dip packed with tons of spice, baked to creamy perfection and topped with plenty of jalapeños - in other words, if you’re a displaced Cleveland Browns fan like me*, it may be the only touchdown you see on game day. It’s also easy to spot - just look for the group of partygoers trying not to draw attention to themselves while struggling frantically to separate their chip or spoon from the long gooey strands of cheese coming out of a steaming disposable foil tray. Unlike the lifeless bean dips that are more of an afterthought than an appetizer, spicy taco dip isn’t served cold buried under a heaping pile of lettuce and sour cream with only a thin layer of mild salsa to deliver the flavor. And that means you bean dip.Īlso known as Texas Trash Dip, this spicy taco dip is a proven crowd-pleaser that’s easy to make, easy to transport and easy to clean. It’s well past time some long-held favorites stepped up their game. Hell, salsa usurped ketchup in America as the most popular condiment almost a quarter of a century ago. Cholula is even a table condiment at IHOP(!) of all places. Self-serve pickled jalapeños are available for “nachos” at every concession stand, movie theater and gas station across the country. Our collective taste is changing to something a bit more picante - stale pretzels are out, poppers are in. At any football party across the country, it’s clear that polite, mild-mannered snacks are no longer making the coffee table cut.
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